Such a strong analysis of what is in many ways a simple concept…but one which many people struggle to contextualize.

The idea of women marrying out of necessity is hard for many of us to grasp because the women from those generations don’t necessarily put it that way. I’ve noticed that more and more grandmas, moms, aunts, etc are STARTING to say it out loud now, likely because of conversations and ideas they have been able to access in recent years.

I also find that “necessity” has different meanings to different people. A lot of incel types (and other men) think it’s dramatic to say marriage was necessary for our foremothers. Most of them have never had to endure a genuine lack of adult independence, enforced by everyone from banks to hospitals to parents/social circles. They think “necessity” only means “marrying to avoid starving or being homeless” when it can also mean “marrying to be secure, stable, and to avoid social ostracism” or a number of other life-altering things.

Thanks for writing this, and I’m looking forward to our bright future!