I'm "pretty" torn on this, so to speak. I've pretty much been considered attractive/appealing my whole life (as a baby it was "cute" and that evolved with age). Most of the women in my family, especially my maternal family, have been considered very beautiful. In the past - such as my grandmother's era and prior - this was not much of an advantage as the options for women were still quite limited. Pretty or not-pretty, it wasn't going to make a difference in your career because you likely didn't have one in our social class.

In my life I have been categorized a certain way by my external appearance, and frankly the way people see me outwardly is hilariously at odds with my actual personality! I'm often expected to be refined and/or elegant because I have "classical" features...but I'm a whole hurricane of a person, and a HUGE nerd to boot. This means that I often feel awkward and sort of trapped between what my looks tell people and who I actually am. This doesn't mean I'm not privileged by my looks, though, as they have DEFINITELY positively impacted my career prospects.

Ultimately I feel the benefits of "looking good" or beautiful heavily outweigh the downsides. It's not even close. All women and femme people get unwanted attention from men, and while I may have had more numerous and perhaps some more intensely negative experiences than most of my friends, I wouldn't venture to say it has anything to do with my appearance.

I agree with your premise, though - it IS unfair, it IS harmful, and it IS disappointing for our societies to put so much meaning into physical appearance. We always have and probably always will do this. It's likely one of our most innate and biology-driven methods for perception and social navigation. I will continue to think about this and look for others' perspectives, as it's a fascinating topic!

Thanks for writing and sharing :)